…can’t get ‘Gladiator’ out of my head… (>.<)

are you not entertained

…is what I want to scream to the heavens and to hell and everything in between…

I have just found out that, by literally the thinnest margin, I have failed 3rd year and have to retake the year.
What makes it especially bitter is that I only failed 1 exam and failed it by technicality…
I achieved well above the pass mark, but one of the conditions of passing is to not fail more than 4 questions/stations. I failed 5…
However, a fail by technicality is irrelevant, because a “fail IS STILL A FAIL…and if you want to keep your place in this course, then you’re going to have to prove it to us” as one of the teaching staff, who has never met me, said.

So…after all the hard work, effort and stress of the past year, I once again have nothing to show for it.


I shall win this test

…ok, ok, am done with the gladiator memes…I promise…(>.>).

Anyways, there was a real serious point behind all that meme abuse…
I just can’t remember what it was….(>.<)
Oh, wait!! Yes I do…heh, and you thought you’d be getting away having read a short blog post…

Once again, I could have walked away and chosen another to do something else…but if I do, then it’ll only be after it has been proved that I just don’t have it in me to do medicine. I shall make it through this 3rd year of a medicine course…for the 3rd time (>.<)

I shall have my revenge

They tell me that it is not shameful to walk away and choose something else to do instead of medicine…but in a world where we are constantly told that WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE WANT TO DO, ESPECIALLY IF WE PUT OUR MINDS TO IT, to walk away would be to say that I did not give medicine everything I had, which would be a lie.

Furthermore, people tend to have a weird perception of failure. If X personally fails at something, then usually X attributes that to an external factor (I wasn’t able to perform at my best due to…whatever). If Y fails at something, then X will usually attributes that to an internal factor (Y just wasn’t good enough to do it…). I’d like to believe that people are more understanding and empathetic, but experience tells me otherwise.

In any case, whilst I could have worked harder over the past year, I still failed by the thinnest of margins. So I believe that I do have it in me to pass this year…I refuse to turn away and yield.

Resilience week 4 image

And if I fail…then I can continue to showcase my ability to spectacularly fail at everything (which is still an impressive skill to have) (^.^).