1st of 8 weeks of Resilience.

So, as part of our course, we get a module where we spend 2-3 hours every week, for a period of 8 weeks studying/exploring an area of medicine that we find interesting.

Whilst other people assessed the interaction between genetics and the environment, took part in NHS audits, assisted independent research trials, I spent the 2 hours a week doing:
hard work mindfulness and resilience.

…yes, I was looking for an easy way out and I scored BIG TIME (^.^). NO ENERGY-DRAINING, TIME-DESTROYING, HAPPINESS-DRAINING WORK FOR ME!!!!!!
An opportunity to spend time doing absolutely nothing and making stuff up on the spot to address the ‘wishy-washy’ concepts that are associated with mindfulness.

The above paragraph did sum up part of my decision to choose to focus on mindfulness; BUT there is more to mindfulness than giving yourself a defensable excuse to procrastinate and use ‘fluffy, flowery, emotional’ language.

Part of the reason I chose it was because I knew that it is now time of year when deadlines, sign offs and exams are maliciously creeping nearer. And knowing how unlucky I tend to be, I knew that other things will crop up that shall add to that stress and potentially push me over the edge of my sanity. Choosing something that would help me to deal with all these stresses rather than adding to them was a key reason for doing this module.
As it happened, our first 2 hours of mindfulness was to focused on reminding ourselves of how to let go of all the problems that are plaguing us and to just give ourselves some time to be free from them.

Resilience week 1 image

YOU’RE AN IDIOT!!! You could have spent those 2 hours actually getting work and revision done instead of procrastinating and doing NOTHING!!!”

I can understand why you could view those 2 hours as a waste of time…because you’re right, I COULD have gotten some more work done, I COULD have done some more revision, I COULD have gone shopping…blahblahblah, etc.

But with all the stresses on me, if I didn’t take that time out, I would have BURNT OUT…and that’s a fact. If you can manage all the stresses that I had on me without spending those 2 hours on the beach, then infinite GOLD STARS to you. Let me know where you’d like me to post those gold stars…(-.-)

And yes, you could view it as me being lazy and procrastinating…and again I agree that I was procrastinating. But it was the lesser of two evils: procrastinate and lose a little revision time or over-extend myself and lose everything I have worked for this year.

For the record, we spent those 2 hours at the beach relaxing…‘FAB’ is the word I would use to describe the experience…and the name of the ice cream I had (^.^).

Fab-Lolly

(I did also have a ‘BEAST’ice cream…you can look that up yourselves…recommended for chocoholics like yours truly.)

A part of me is disappointed that I couldn’t keep working and needed to waste those two hours…and I have to accept that. Another part of me is also disappointed that this is essentially an excuse for not working. If I were stronger, maybe I wouldn’t have needed those two hours and maybe I wouldn’t be ashamed of my wasted time…

Or maybe if I were stronger, I’d just beat the **** out of those parts of me for being close minded, for not looking at the bigger picture and for being ****s (>.>).

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s